


Deserving Of A Celebratory Feast

by Gildedmuse



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Missing Scene, POV Tony Stark, Post-Avengers Shawarma Scene, Short One Shot, The Avengers (2012) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gildedmuse/pseuds/Gildedmuse
Summary: Just after the end of The Batle For New York Tony's still feeling a bit shaken and more then a bit hungry.





	Deserving Of A Celebratory Feast

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm guessing I wrote the after watching the Avengers, so probably back in 2012. But I only just found it.]

**Deserving Of A Celebratory Feast**

“Thor’s right. There is still plenty that needs to get done.”

Tony just threw a live nuke at an alien space ship to stop a Norse god from invading Manhattan, so he’s already knocked off his whole To-Do list for the day. As far as he’s concerned, the only things left that need to be seen to immediately involve food, alcohol, sex, and a hot bath and he’ll take those in any order or combination, although considering how he’s still kind of barely conscious probably best to save the sex for later.

“The police may need help securing the area, getting civilians out, search and rescue.” Either the Captain is using the worst euphemisms Tony’s ever heard or else he really plans to go through with this, and without even grabbing a quick burger first. Oh my God, just look at him. That man has a look of goodwill and determination. Fuck, even the sun is in on the act, probably purposefully setting just to give that special added halo effect. Hey, Rodgers, it’s not the 1940s anymore! Couldn’t he just use photoshop like everyone else? Instead the damn light is right in Tony’s eyes, and he didn’t even have time to pack sunglasses seeing as how he’d been a bit busy dealing with an alien bug army and Loki, God of theatrical emo teen hissy fits everywhere.

Tony grunts back an answer, not quite up to the task of moving and talking just yet. Actually, you know, it’s mostly the moving that hurts. Mobility is over rated anyway – probably just a trend, like yoga, but without the promise of really amazing sex. Hey, maybe he should just stay put for a while. You know, you wouldn’t think it what with being covered in smushed gum and hobo piss but the sidewalk is actually more comfortable than Tony would have figured. Hard to believe he’s been spending a fortune on natural organic mattresses and custom silk sheets when there is this huge stretch of perfectly comfortable bedding right at his feet. Literally.

“Mm… Hey, I’ve got a idea.” Usually Tony likes it when all eyes go to him, but he’s not digging it as much when he’s flat on his back and every face turned his way looks less impressed and more seriously concerned. “Why don’t you guys go and do all that while I stay here to guard this spot. I have a feeling this spot is strategically important.” Okay, so the whole not talking thing really hasn’t been working for him. It’s too quiet, that’s the problem. Sure there’s the military brass barking orders (which brings up the question of a certain War Machine. Would Rhodey be here? Maybe he should call Rhodey. Probably Rhodey should be let in on the fact that Tony just did a little thing called saving the whole goddamn world. Nah, it would annoy the man more if Tony didn’t mention it. He’d just wait for Rhodey to bring it up then brush off the whole affair – maybe he’d tell him it was just a typical Avenger’s training exercise gone wrong. Oh, but first he’d have to tell him about how he’s part of a super secret world saving hero’s only club which, of course, he could only drop hints about until Rhodey is almost ready to just give up and leave, then Tony will tell him. Jesus, he’s got so much to not tell Rhodey about he’s got to get JARVIS to make a note or something.) right along side sirens and people shouting and parts of Manhattan randomly crumbling into debris and just about every car alarm in the general perimeter going off simultaneously, but that’s pretty typical for New York City. Anyway it feels way too quiet.

Thor kneels down, giving Tony a long look and, what, is that actual worry? Sure, they’re on the same team and nothing brings people together like nuking alien warships, but from what Tony has seen Thor’s answer to every problem tends to be hitting it with a hammer.

“Just so we’re clear, this is not a hammerable moment,” Tony mutters, the edge of his face plate digging in to his chin and making it kind of difficult to speak. Not that it’s stopping him. “No offense, but this is on expensive suit. Hate to see it ruined.”

It’s not that he’s surprised to see Hawkeye and Black Widow lurking off to the side like they’ve been there the whole time but it’s odd that it’s the first time he’s noticed them. Is there a SHIELD training course on that? Just lurking around? Bet these two aced that class, and the two after it as well. Probably minored in lurking for a whole semester.

He only even catches them looking because he’s little comment on his suit gets a reaction. Well, Natasha’s eyebrow quirks slightly but from her, that’s practically knee slapping. Hey, at least someone here still has their sense of humor. Well, assuming Captain and Thor had any to begin with.

“You have been injured,” Thor announces because the guy can’t ever just say anything, can he? “Can you not move?”

“Just thought it was a nice time to catch a nap, you know, and this spot looked really quite comfortable when I was doing my flyby. Hey, what do you suppose the thread count on these are?”

At this point Tony isn’t even trying anymore, these guys make it too damn easy. “I do not understand.” No, he really didn’t. Tony hasn’t seen anyone look so honestly confused since kindergarten when he tried explaining multiple variable circuitry to the teacher. “There is no thread here, and how would counting it help in your recovery?” So there you have it, these are the all knowing gods that humanity worshiped for hundreds of years.

Captain America steps up behind Thor, looking a little less confused but not a whole lot less worried. “We need to take him to SHIELD immediately, have the doctors take a look. He could have major head trauma.”

There’s a bit of static and a spark and – ow! Tony jerks his head to the side, wincing when the sparks hit his ear. What the hell? You think he’d gotten it bad enough without his suit’s communicator trying to electrocute him. Never mind that, is this a good time for a phone call?

“Tony?” Oh, hey, it’s Rhodey! Good old Rhodey. “Tony, where are you? Have you seen -”

“JARVIS, switch the comm link off.”

There is some grinding sound and, ouch, that’s JARVIS trying to speak. He doesn’t sound good at all, but at least he manages to shut down the communicator.

“Sorry,” he tells the still worried faces. Well, still worried faces plus Natasha and Clint who have returned to the usual expressive selves. “Old girlfriends. You give them your number they never stop calling.”

You know who gets that joke? The Hulk. Or at least that’s what Tony is going to assume it means when the big green giant snorts in his face. “Tin man lazy. Get up now.”

“Gee buddy, thanks for the – ahh, nodon'ttouch-”

“Hulk, I don’t think you should-” Suddenly a whole lot is happening. The Captain steps up, speaking with that clear, leaderly edge in his voice like that is going to get the Hulk to listen. Thor looks around ready to charge forward and in the back Black Widow and Hawkeye are planning something, and all Tony can do is shut his eyes and keep rambling, hoping that when the Hulk smashes the last bit of life out of him that whatever the final words he gets out are clever enough to get quoted at his own funeral.

Look, nothing about the Hulk can be described as “gentle” but the pressure of his finger down into Tony’s chest isn’t “rib cracking” either, but it’s just enough that the last bits of metal clinging to him crumble and fall away and suddenly Tony can move again.

Slowly, just in case this feeling has only been brought on by his pre-death hallucination, Tony opens his eyes. Everyone is still staring, and even Natasha looks a little bit amazing.

“Oh, Good,” Tony sits up, rolling his shoulders back with a wince. “I knew that emergency Hulk powered ejection seat would come in handy.”

Thor gives Tony a half smile. “You truly do plan for everything, mortal.”

No one bothers explaining.

“You know, for a big green meanie, you’re not -” Tony pauses as he turns to thank the Hulk. “Oh, good, now I’m not the only one partly naked.” It’s not his best but for once, Tony’s actually worried. Everyone else had been scared that the Hulk would show up, Tony had been the one inviting him to the party (honestly, he’s so use to being right by now he shouldn’t even enjoy it, but he does). Bruce, though. Bruce he isn’t so sure how to handle. Is he going to be okay being half dragged into the mess (and mostly by Tony)? He is going to take right off to India? The Hulk is like a giant mood ring – you pretty much know what he’s feeling. What kind of Banner would they be dealing with here?

So it’s Tony’s turn to look on with worry as Bruce slowly pushes himself onto his knees, brushes his hair back and… smiles.

It’s a weak smile, but it’s a smile.

“Should I be worried? I’ve seen the magazines, you know. Seems like whenever you’re caught half naked with someone the paper’s go crazy.”

Tony laughs, and it’s a real laugh, he could tell by just how much it hurt. “I’ve got connections,” he promises, clapping Bruce on the shoulder and, you know, that Hulking out trick is pretty good. Bruce might be half naked, on his knees, covered in dusts but when Tony slaps at his shoulder he’s pretty sure it hurts him way more than Bruce. Guy doesn’t even have a scratch on him. “I’ll try and get them to make your spread as tasteful as possible.”

Tony would have never guessed the next one to speak up, but then he occasionally forgets that Clint can speak at all. “Not to break up the romance you’ve got going here, but I was promised Shawarma.”


End file.
